Reflections & Insights
Walking in Circles
My father's death was a whirlwind, just two weeks from diagnosis to death. That's how it was with his pancreatic cancer. My mother's death was very different. She had vascular dementia, and when she died, it was the culmination of months of not sleeping,...
When Everything Feels Like Too Much: A Message for Caregivers
Ask people how they're doing while waiting in line at the grocery store. How many will tell you they're exhausted?There's the doomscrolling, the relentless news cycle, and that nagging feeling that even the simplest things have become unnecessarily complicated. A...
Supporting Your Care Partner Through Tragedy
One thing is for sure in life: Hard things happen. When they happen to our parents or care partners it can be difficult to know how to best support them. Missing Last month I was flying from Nova Scotia to Newfoundland to see my two favorite 91-year-olds, Mom and her...
I Can Buy Green Bananas
I received the gift of renewed connection with my dad about six years ago. My dad had wrenched his shoulder when he fell out of the attic. Don’t ask. The doctor sent him to physical therapy first, but surgery was ultimately required to repair it. I was loosely...
Caregiver Guilt: 10 Powerful Ways to Reframe, Heal and Find Peace
Caregiver guilt has hung around me for years. I have numerous things I feel guilty about, and I can add new reasons every day. I may have broken a promise, lost my temper in frustration, spoken unkindly, made a mistake, or even worse, felt like I neglected my loved...
Your Parents’ Health Data Is Out There – Here’s What You Need to Know
The healthcare system was not built for daughters. It was built for the patient, but you’re the one carrying the binder into the ER, spending afternoons on hold, and logging into portals as your parent because there’s no other way. If any of that sounds familiar, this...
Daughterhood 10th Anniversary Letter
Ten years ago, while writing an article about family caregiving, I found myself comparing caring for aging parents to caring for children. That’s when it struck me: caregiving for a parent is such a profound, singular life experience that it deserves its own name. And...
The Support I Wish I Had When Caring for My Mom with Dementia is Finally Available and Here’s How to Get it
Looking back on my 12 year dementia caregiving journey, I often wonder how it could have been different had I had support. The memories of being awake at 2 a.m. with no idea of what to do next, still shake me to my core. Sure, there are hotlines to call for support,...