Daughterhood Blog - Daughterhood

October 20, 2015March 1, 2018 by Anne Tumlinson

5 Common Misconceptions About Medicaid

I have a confession. I’ve been avoiding writing about Medicaid. It’s so complicated it scares me. But, Medicaid can be really important to daughterhood because someday you might have to decide if it’s right for your parent. So you have to get smart about it.

Here’s why Medicaid is important: It’s the safety net for when everything falls apart.

When your frail mother has been caring for your Dad at home alone for five years and she can’t do it any longer. When 24 hour a day home care is too expensive and it still wouldn’t be enough to keep your dad safe. And, then when his nursing home care quickly depletes their savings.

October 8, 2015February 15, 2018 by Anne Tumlinson

The 5 Most Unexpected Challenges of Caregiving

The 5 Most Unexpected Challenges of Caregiving

Every single one of us – because we are alive and we are human – runs the risk that at some point in our lives something will happen to us, making it impossible for us to take care of ourselves.

This something can be any one in a long list of disabling events. A car accident, or a serious disease like multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s disease, or a developmental disability like cerebral palsy. Or it can just be the result of aging cells when we get old.

What is equally, if not more likely, is that someone in our family – a grandparent, a parent, a sibling, child or spouse – will be among the 10 to 12 million people at any point in time who need help. As a result, we’ll likely be drafted into service, joining the 40 million Americans who are currently serving in the role of family caregiver.

September 23, 2015January 17, 2016 by Anne Tumlinson

4 Sanity-Preserving Truths Your Good Friends Want You to Know

Do you realize that 70 percent of the human food supply depends on a bunch of women dancing?

This is my interpretation of what my beekeeper friend, Nicole, taught me about how honey bees do their job. It inspired the most important advice I’ll ever give about Daughterhood — and explains a big initiative we’re launching to help you.

Let me explain how these dots connect.

First, we all know that if bees don’t help boy and girl flowers share pollen with each other, they can’t make the vegetables, nuts, fruits, berries, and wheat that we eat, or the plant food that cows and chickens eat before they become burgers and nuggets.

in Uncategorized 3 comments

August 12, 2015January 17, 2016 by Anne Tumlinson

4 Myths that Increase the Burden of Caregiving

In exactly 10 hours from now, at 5:30 am, I’m going to pull out of my driveway and hit the road for vacation.

And yet, at this point, I am still working. And I’m still packing.

Two days ago, I woke up in a cold sweat about my many pre-vacation obligations, checked my email and found this message from another mom,

“Fighting the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed.”

Two more times that same day I had friends use the word “overwhelmed” to describe how they were feeling – about jobs, kids, caregiving, all of the above.

in Feeling Overwhelmed 12 comments

July 26, 2015January 17, 2016 by Anne Tumlinson

Caring for Aging Parents: 4 Essential Steps to Navigating Change

I travel on airplanes a lot. Usually, my primary focus is on whether I can get a coffee refill and how much longer I can procrastinate writing my blog. So, basically, exactly the same as when I am at home only minus the barking dogs.

But a big gust of turbulence can quickly change all of this

The bumpy ride doesn’t scare me but it does refocus me, shifting my attention to the fact that I’m actually sitting in a tin can flying at 200 plus miles per hour 40,000 feet in the air and that there are other human beings with me.

In short, turbulence makes the flight very real.

in Common Challenges / Navigating Change and Letting Go 3 comments

July 14, 2015September 21, 2017 by Anne Tumlinson

4 Essential Tips for Finding the Best Home Care for Your Parents

The vast majority of frail older adults live at home — not in independent or assisted living and not in nursing homes. So, If you’re managing your parents’ care, sooner or later you’ll come up against the question of whether you should get them more help at home and how to go about it.

Hiring someone to help your parents can be expensive and awkward. It’s often hard to get your parents to accept a paid caregiver into their home and even harder to find a person you can trust. But, at the same time, it feels like doing so is the only way you can keep your parents where they are.

And, keeping them at home very often feels like the least heartbreaking way to proceed.

in Assisted Living / Home Care 36 comments

June 30, 2015January 17, 2016 by Anne Tumlinson

6 Features of Long-Term Care Insurance You’d Never Guess But Need to Know

It feels a little silly to be writing about long-term care insurance because only about 10% of the older adult population has purchased it.

But, it comes up a lot in conversations I have with friends and family… either they’re thinking of buying it or they or their parents have a policy that’s hard to understand.

Also, many, many women want to know… “What can I do to make sure I can pay for care when I need it?”

Because remember… as women, we especially face the possibility that old age will bring with it the need for a lot of help with basic life activities that we do for ourselves now without even thinking: like bathing, eating or dressing.

in Paying for Care 2 comments

June 18, 2015January 17, 2016 by Anne Tumlinson

The Top 3 Myths Most Women Believe About Paying for Long-Term Care

If you haven’t stopped to think about whether you’ll need to be taken care of when you are very old or how you’d pay for it, believe me, you are not alone.

But, if you are a woman, this is a question you cannot afford to avoid.

As Dr. Atul Gawande explains in his book, Being Mortal, “increasingly large numbers of us get to live out a full life span and die of old age.” Because of this, we live for longer periods of time needing help with basic life activities, like bathing, eating, and dressing.

in Medicaid / Paying for Care 1 comments

May 21, 2015September 27, 2017 by Anne Tumlinson

5 Safety-First Strategies for Your Parents’ Hospital Discharge

You’ve navigated your frail parent’s hospital stay and now it’s time to go home. You probably can’t wait to leave but …what’s coming next is extremely uncertain. Leaving a hospital with a frail older adult in tow is like stepping off a cliff blindfolded.

This blog is all about resources and tips to help you with this transition but first there are two things to know that will help you understand my advice.

in Medicare / Your Parent's Hospitalization 13 comments

May 6, 2015January 17, 2016 by Anne Tumlinson

4 Must-Know Tips for Your Parent’s Hospital Stay

It always comes as a shock to me that being likeable doesn’t solve all my problems. In my mind, being accommodating is the key to being likable. Of course, the problem with this thinking is that occasionally all that pent up accommodation and desire to be likeable comes boiling to the surface and I become enraged and irrational.

I’ve found that I can sometimes avoid this cycle by being less accommodating and clearer right up front about what I need and what I expect. But, it’s not easy.

There is no better place to avoid the likeability trap than when your parent is hospitalized. You have to be firm and relatively non-accommodating so you can head off the white-hot fury that ends up making you look like a looney and reduces your effectiveness.

in Medicare / Your Parent's Hospitalization 30 comments